“I did not know what I was doing. Yes, I know you’ve heard that excuse many times, but I tell you truly I did not know what I was doing. I lost control and … well you know what happened next.” The young listened patiently, hidden behind an aura of wisdom never before see. His penetrating eyes to shaken the who got in the way, even as great leaders.
“Tell me once again what happened.” Sweetly asked the young man.
Man deep breath, knew he could not refuse even when does not have the slightest desire to repeat such adventure.
“It happened some time ago. That day I got up early and went for a walk around my property, it was something I loved to do that very often … but this time something happened, say different. I had decided up to the roof and enjoy the view from the top, was lost in thought when a picture shook the depths of my being. Too beautiful, too erotic, too close to me. The most beautiful woman he had seen in my life took a shower and I was her spectator. There she was, completely naked, my view was paralyzed while my male hormones were shaken to the fullest. My imagination flew and within seconds I became a morbid teenager ready to satiate your senses with a moment of erotic pleasure.
Fight like uncontrolled against temptation. Try to close your eyes, think of something else or just forget I had seen, but the image devoured my brain consuming all pinch of reasoning and integrity, leaving me only with a strange mixture of morbidity and uncontrollable desire. For a few seconds I permit not restrain my wild instincts which like hungry lions released from his cage devoured every inch of the body of the woman. The balcony of my mansion converted into a vile pornographic theater stage. She finished showering but not was the same with my desire. The image had awakened a beast in me that did not know. A beast out of control my senses and not rest until they have consumed all the good in me. The man took a deep pause. You could see at first sight that still hurt deeply remember it. “She’s prohibited ..”, repeated me several times, but I was anesthetized by her beauty. Send her to bring. Knew she could not refuse because she knew my position and I took it to the fullest. I led her to my own bedroom and seduced her. She said no. I hit it hard. She pleaded but it was too late, the beast had killed the man and instead had placed a pornographer thirsty to fulfill their wildest erotic fantasies. All she did was useless. Undress and I did mine. I simply rape her.
The moment of lust over. She washed her clothes and her body hoping to eliminate any trace of this awful show and back home. I stay calm like a man satisfied after eating a big meal. But my life was never the same after that day 60 days later, a short phrase sent by a messenger would alter my quiet life completely “I’m pregnant” declared the note as putting a new end to my short adventure What else could I do? Perfectly knew her husband, he was my best friend, a loyal soldier and a man still more irreproachable, like telling him all this happened? I sent for him, I said that there was no need to fight over that ought to rest and spend more time with his family and send him home. The plan was perfect, he would have relations with his wife and ready, my little adventure would be hidden forever.
But the man was faultless, too right. “As I can go to relax and enjoy my wife knowing that the rest of my friends are dying fighting alone against our enemies?” – He said – the man seemed to be the model of the perfect man.
I tried to convince again.
I offered him gifts. Yes, I bribed.
I told him that he should not always be so right.
Probe to force him so drunk; to go home.
But all in vain, seemed as if fate was against me and had decided to sink.
It was then that I lost all control.
Change the friendship by lust.
Pay the loyalty of a soldier with the betrayal of their leader.
I gave more value to my moment of pleasure to his many years of integrity.
Love my position more than anything else in my life.
And send him to murder.
I myself wrote the words that would ensure their death. I put that same note in his own hands and sent it back to the battlefield. The same should deliver the note to General had the order of their execution.“General Ford put Uriah in the forefront of the battle, and when at the height … Leave him alone. Let him die. “
The order was carried and held by me with great joy. I felt the greatest tranquility of my life. I felt peace. I married with that woman. I made my wife and I was happy, until the day that arrived this man. He blight every vestige of peace in me. He returned to my reality. They said it was the Prophet and that he had something to tell me. I Knew it must be something very important.
Told me a story: There were two men in one city, the one rich and the other poor. The rich man had thousands of sheep and cows. But the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb he had bought and nourished, which had grown up with him and his children. He ate his bread, drank from his cup and slept in his breast, and was like a daughter to him. Came a traveler to visit the rich man and not to take of his own sheep or cows to prepare their meal for the traveler who had come to him, but took the only lamb poor man, killed and prepared for man who had come to visit … “
I had always considered a just and honorable man, so I went on shouting in anger: “the evil rich man should die out and return four times removed from the poor. It’s amazing that there are people like that, without mercy! “But the Prophet replied: You are that bad guy. Nothing could have prepared me for what I heard at the time. I would rather be electrocuted live to hear those words. The truth hurts, but it made me free. “Your having everything that a man could want in life, having women, luxuries, livestock, property and all the best, you have taken what is not yours, you’ve killed a man and his wife brutally raped; you are a lier… you are a vile sinner before God. “ His words were too fast, so that I could not assimilate all. I am an evil man? sinner? Nobody in my life had dared speak to me in such a way, but this man was the Prophet. If there was anyone in the entire region was telling the truth, certainly was him. My life seemed to disappear forever. All my reign, my blessing, my future seemed to vanish before my eyes. All I had in my mind now was death … my death and I had given my judgment. What seemed at the time a simple adventure, now took its true dimension, which at the time had seemed like a clever and intelligent way out of a problem, now shown as a vile foul. So crude and brutal as a sin.
I discover that all my life was a cruel lie. I threw away. Just completely bend my soul. For the first time in my life as a man recognized my evil. An evil being, a despot by the desire to satisfy his instincts had become a murderer and rapist, all together. A being so despicable that deserved death. I myself had been a judge in many cases, knew what it meant to the concept of “Justice” and in my case there was no law to forgive me life, simply deserved pay. I deserve to die. But the real shock was going to happen. I did not know what else to do. How to pay my fault? there was not anything I could do to give life to my friend, I could not turn back time, I could not self-forgive my fault … I simply pull down and cried bitterly. I was deeply and genuinely repent. So it was that cry aloud: “Almighty God, today I acknowledge that fail, but you are good, I regret, but please forgive me; not walk away from my kingdom, do not let me alone, I do not this mistake again… “- it was then that the Prophet spoke again: “Do not fear, the Lord forgive you…” – The feeling have not yet cleared. That feeling seems to be dreaming. I stared at him as if to discover it was a joke, but his eyes were serene as that extraordinary culminated phrase: “He Lord has put away your sin, your genuine repentance has saved you; you will not die.” I lay back in my favorite chair as if to understand the strange and improbable of all this. I rape her. I kill him and later forgive my life. The young man looked at his father with eyes full of admiration. Never imagined that his father the great king of Israel had lived such adventure, much less such an end. But now King David was on his deathbed, dying a few times and see the beautiful face of him who had given him the kingdom, his fortune and his own son who was to reign now in his place. But David departed happy, at peace, and looking forward to being in the arms of God. He already knew the extraordinary power of Repentance. - Bible Story in 2 Samuel 11 and 12.
There has always fascinated me this story. The Power of Repentance. David had to pay his sin, but his genuine repentance leads to the gates of Heaven. A sublime, unique, those who never reminisce forgiveness. Of those who deleted your history. The file was deleted. I still remember that incredible feeling, that day my file was deleted and made me a free man to dream again. It was the day that changed my stupid pride that told me ‘you are superior to others, deserve what you have and are “good person”; and change by genuine repentance that told me “finally you realize you’re just a sinful human being who NEED Jesus to enter Heaven?”.
It’s the same thing that happens when you and I ask God for forgiveness genuine. Jesus paid the price for our sins and now His blood covers every fault, every negative aspect, every sin, however great, repetitive and ugly as this may be. Pornography, adultery, impure thoughts, jealousy, envy, lies, superiority, masturbation, sex before marriage, idolatry, theft, murder, marijuana, rape, pride, materialism, criticism, vanity, lack of prayer … no matter the name of the offense ; all fall under the unconditional love of a living God. Genuine repentance opens the gates of Heaven. God erases the file and throws it away, burn it, and then forget the ashes forever. We are all sinners. We all deserve death. God is good. God paid the price for our sins. Repentance opens the access to eternal life. Sin caused the illness, crisis and death; Repentance brings health, happiness and eternal life. Only those who recognize themselves as sinners before God, and repent genuinely, will have access to heaven and eternal life.
“Father, in the Almighty Name of Jesus, forgive every sin and lack I committed against you, and especially forgiving that until now come to apologize, but now I know you love me, and that love forgives and forgets forever. Today I’m genuinely repent and I ask you to stop me going back, I’m free today. I pledge to talk with you daily Holy Spirit, Amen. “